This online blog post, titled The Vicar’s Vantage Point, set out with the intention of offering open reflections on my theological and spiritual formation while serving as Grace’s seminary intern.
And it was going well…until Coronavirus swept across the globe, and the face of ministry (along with every other sphere of human life) shifted quite dramatically. I, along with the rest of the world, have been focused on pivoting to and absorbing all the shifts in daily life and work. Now that the initial panic produced by this pandemic seems to be passing, my mind is filled with meaning-making questions. And so, I return to this online blog space as a place to make sense of my formation as a leader in God’s church and world.
More specifically, I have questions about what God is preparing me for after internship comes to a close and I anticipate first call. How will COVID-19 impact the faith communities to whom God may call me to serve once I leave Grace Lutheran Church?
The truth is: I don’t know.
I’m not sure what the church will look like in the next six to twelve months, or even in the next several years.
Once this pandemic is over, I imagine some parts of congregational life will resume as normal: worship, choir practice, meal and Bible study programs; while other parts of our collective life, as Christian community will be forever changed. As we continue to live and pray through this time, I hope it becomes clear which parts of our collective life need to die in order to make room for the new life God is bringing forth.
Which parts of our collective life needs to die for new life to emerge?
I don’t know yet.
That’s the flavor of this season: lots of questions and not so many answers.
In an earlier blog post, I reflected on sermon writing and how the process of writing a faithful sermon is deeply dependent upon letting go of what I thought I knew and trusting the Spirit to show me the way and to give me the words. Sermon writing is, at least in part, about surrendering to the Spirit’s leadership and forsaking control.
Perhaps the Spirit is trying to teach the Church something about surrender? Perhaps the Spirit wants to cleanse our palates of certainty, prediction and control? Perhaps the Spirit is trying to teach us, the body of Christ, to live into the liminal space? The space between letting go of what has happened and before new life emerges. The liminal space is the in-between space.
So what does this season mean for my theological and spiritual formation? I surmise that the Spirit is forming me into the kind of leader and pastor who can live and lead from the liminal spaces. The kind of pastor who is more comfortable with questions and not knowing the right answer; the kind of pastor whose leadership is not patterned upon my own sense of control, but whose leadership is deeply dependent upon the good work of the Holy Spirit and the giftedness and wisdom of God’s people. I pray for the spiritual fortitude and depth to listen and discern the Spirit’s voice in this time, and the courage to lean into the discomfort of having more questions than answers. I pray for the heart to follow Her leadership wherever, however or whoever that includes. I pray that God’s whole church would embrace the liminal.
Thanks for reading. You are loved.
In Faith,
Vicar Beth Gallen