Day in the Church Year: Ash Wednesday
Scripture Passage: Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21
Perhaps we are distracted by multiple technological devices at the moment. Perhaps we are distracted by pets or family members or noisy neighbors. Perhaps we are distracted by thoughts going through our minds, griefs and losses, worries and uncertainties. We are still in the midst of pandemic, an event that has altered our lives in ways we cannot yet fully measure. But here we are, at Ash Wednesday, same as ever, a day of ashes, a day of confession, a day of confrontation.
We confront our sin and brokenness.
We confront our mortality.
We confront our desire to be seen as good by others, a desire not always paired with a desire to actually do good, just be seen as good.
We confront our systemic sin and brokenness, systems that hurt people, systems that harm some more than others.
On Ash Wednesday, we confront ourselves. Doing so is harder this year than most for we are not gathered together, our attention caught and held by having gotten in the car, driven to the church, and sat down in a pew next to, in front of, or behind other members of the Grace community—people who keep us accountable. Because we generally dislike confronting ourselves and especially because we are likely to be distracted by worshiping at home under these circumstances, I invite you tonight to go to a mirror or maybe the camera on your phone, to look at yourself, to literally confront yourself. Really. Now. Go to a mirror or open the camera on your phone, look at yourself, confront yourself. What do you see there? Who is this person staring back at you?
We are not fond of confronting ourselves. In fact, most of us are out of practice of confronting ourselves.
Doing so is tricky because confronting ourselves does not mean blaming ourselves. It does not mean shaming ourselves. It is not telling ourselves we’re not good enough. No. Blame, shame, accusation is not Ash Wednesday. On Ash Wednesday, we confront ourselves, however we are. Ash Wednesday is like standing in front of a mirror. There’s no need for the mirror to speak, to blame, to shame, to accuse; simply by standing in front of it, we see ourselves. Standing in front of the mirror, we cannot avoid ourselves.
When we look in that mirror, we see what we do, not what we think or what we say, but what we do, actually do. And that’s startling: to measure how or if we follow Jesus only by what we actually do—with no commentary, no explanations, no excuses. When we see ourselves, we do not need to blame, shame, or accuse ourselves but just see plainly that we, all of us, me included, are not as ethical as we believe, not as consistent, not as good. When we stand in front of that mirror, we may even find that we don’t follow Jesus, that we have no desire to follow Jesus, that we straight up avoid questions of large importance, such as questions of justice and questions of love. Still, amazingly, just as Jesus fails to judge the Pharisees in Matthew chapter 6, he fails to judge us. When Jesus sees us, he sees exactly how we are, and while we are a dishonest, inconsistent, self-centered people, Jesus somehow avoids blame, shame, and accusation.
Jesus calls us to walk the walk, not simply talk the talk. In fact, he recommends not talking—only doing. Give. Don’t talk about giving. Pray. Don’t talk about praying. Fast. Don’t talk about fasting. No judgment. He just shows us to ourselves.
In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus uses the Pharisees as an object lesson because they, among all the people of Jesus’ world, hold the highest opinion and thus the most unrealistic opinion of themselves. They happen to be the most religious of all the people in Jesus’ world, the most proper, the most legalistically pure. Jesus does not condemn them. He just describes what they do.
By contrast, the disciples who follow Jesus, his friends with whom he breaks bread, the sick and demented crowds who flock to him, the women who stay with him at the cross, these people are not so religious, not so pure, not so proper. They are broken too, just like the Pharisees. But they know it. They are able to look in the mirror and see themselves.
That’s who Jesus teaches in Matthew chapter six, courageous people who take a good look in the mirror and hear the gospel and the law. For the law warns: Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them. But the gospel declares: I see you exactly as you are, and still, I love you. That’s Ash Wednesday. Thanks be to God! Amen.